Can You Drop the Social Mask?

Don't be fooled by the Social Mask. Life is messy, and everyone is working through their own challenges - but it doesn't look this way - people hide that part, and put on the image, put on their smile, put on their social mask as it is known. To know this is true, just look at your own life. I bet you do this yourself, I know I do. We may be suffering, but we'll put on a happy face so others don't have to deal with it.

Often this is quite appropriate. In social situations the grand majority of people are not equipped or have any idea how to support your healing, so to drop your social mask and bear your "ugly wounds" would end up, more than likely, alienating others and leaving your wounds gaping even larger. We intuitively know this, or have directly experienced it, so we don't do it.

It takes a person who has faced their deepest fears, has healed their own wounds, and can meet your pain with compassion and understanding, to support you through it. In many cultures, this is the role of the wise elder. If you have a wise elder in your life, consider yourself blessed. However, since most people have not done their own work, when you share your hurts with the average person, it only activates their own. It can launch them into judgment and rejection mode, or some kind of sympathy or fixing mode, which can leave you worse off than when you started!

Now again, note that wearing the social mask is beneficial, to a certain extent; none of us wants to hear a bunch of dumping and complaining from others. But it's also important to note that this is what people often do: they assume the role of victim and then dump and complain. Rather than looking inside themselves for the cause of their suffering, they project it outside onto others (a natural protection mechanism of the mind). Being aware of this enables responsible sharing; you can own your own stuff with an authentic desire for healing AND an openness to coaching and insight.

Many adults have avoided this kind of responsible, authentic, and courageous exploration and sharing. Why? Because:

1) their present life is not painful enough for them to deal with it,

2) initially it's much easier to stuff issues down, paste them over, and pretend that everything is OK,

3) they have no structure or model for deep exploration,

4) they fear being vulnerable in this way will somehow hurt them and make them less powerful, and

5) they have no one in their life that can actually help them heal their wounds and evolve into more freedom and love.

Therefore, these people - and there are a lot of them out there- are walking bundles of reactionary protection mechanisms. They continue to foster patterns from their past in each and every present moment. To a large extent, these are the average people in our "general public." My therapist once said to me "Roger, don't be fooled by the big bodies and open eyes." Just because people look awake doesn't mean they really are.

Your unconscious limiting belief patterns are instilled in you from childhood, but may still be running your automatic behaviors and perceptions of your present world. The process of exploring and unraveling them is typically a long-term process requiring tremendous courage, insight, tools, support, compassion, and persistence - and there is no more highly satisfying and personally rewarding work!

Of all those traits mentioned, I think persistence may be one of the most important, since the nature of these mechanisms is very "crafty." Just when you think you've got one handled, you'll find it popping up in a different circumstance wearing different clothes. Then, with further investigation, you find it's the same old fear-based mechanism at work that you've seen before. Aha!

So just be aware of your environment; be aware that your fellow human beings are all working through their own issues, even though it may not look like it. Be aware of who you are sharing with; recognize the limitations the average person will have in helping you with your wounds and your healing process. Be the first to extend compassion to others and especially to yourself.

And above all, actively engage and transform your own issues, subconscious limiting beliefs, and childhood protection mechanisms. This is the path of the modern day shaman: taking on your fears, meeting them where they reside inside you, dying the little death that's necessary for their transformation and release, and being reborn on the other side. As you become responsible for and transform your own issues - sharing authentically with a true desire for healing and support - you can then become the one who listens compassionately and helps others heal their own wounds. And over time, the need for your social mask becomes less and less as you become more fully transparent with nothing to fear and nothing to hide.

Try this:

People frequently live behind a social mask. As you are walking down the street, or sitting in your car at a red light, look around at the people you can see. Some are on phones, some are chewing a fingernail, some are completely absorbed in their own thoughts. Choose one person, and imagine what might be going on in their life, or in their fears and self-doubts, that you cannot see in their faces or in their body language. This will not only raise your awareness and openness to other peoples' struggles in life, it will raise your levels of compassion and tolerance.

Now look at your own social mask. Be aware of how you probably appear to others, even though you may be working through an issue or problem in your life. Be kind to yourself, and acknowledge the effort this mask entails. And acknowledge that it's OK to use this mask for your safety in the world as you continue your healing and transforming.

"Be nice and smile to everyone you meet. You don't know what they are going through, and they may need that smile, and treasure it". ~ Christine M. Huppert

Congratulations you're one step closer to your mojo!

Roger Kenneth Marsh is a Spiritual Life Coach & creator of the Major Good Mojo System. He has an engineering degree, MBA, is a Certified Life Coach, HeartMath? Provider, and Passion Test? Facilitator. Get his book "NexGen Human" on Amazon.com, and FREE CD "3 Keys to Major Good Mojo" at http://www.majorgoodmojo.com/free-cd

Source: http://articles.submityourarticle.com/can-you-drop-the-social-mask--298239

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